"The Rules" -- beating a dead horse, but I just can't help myself.
A friend and I were having an intellectual discussion regarding the tendency of people to act like lemmings the other day (pass "the Secret", please!), and he mentioned that he was so glad that "The Rules" was no longer popular.
As I'd never heard of the book prior his mentioning it, I asked him to further elaborate and, lo and behold! I discovered thehorror wonder that is "The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right".
Women were using this as a sort of bible from 1995 (its publication) to mid-2000. I had never heard of it before, (apparently some good came from being mired in a 7-year relationship), and was thus thoroughly incensed at the very essence of it. (Feminist? Me? Why do you say that?)
I don't know if I was more insulted by the fact that, according to this book, a woman's ultimate goal in life is to snare a man to marry, or the fact that it basically teaches you how to "play" a guy until you get what you want (i.e. commitment and marriage).
Seriously, whatever happened to gaging your success by your personal accomplishments rather then whether or not you've got a man on your arm?! Books like this throw women back in the dark ages. Hell, don't we have enough Disney movies telling little girls that they need to patiently wait in their castles for their princes to rescue them? (Except for Mulan. Mulan kicks ass.)
See the following excerpts for samples of this ass-hattery:
EXHIBIT A: "Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day"
Wow. This is a great rule. Makes perfect sense... if you were 12. You'd think that grown women would have a bit more sense. You can't "trick" a guy into being more romantic. He'll either do it or he won't-- just the same as you. Trying to fit relationships into little boxes is like trying to define Art, for god's sake. You just *can't*.
EXHIBIT B: "Don’t See Him More than Once or Twice a Week" and EXHIBIT C: "Don't Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls"
Anyone who uses 'playing hard to get' as a core concept in their book should be taken out back and shot.
EXHIBIT D: "Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much"
Okay, so the first part of this rule I kind of get. It's hardly polite to be ogling other men while you're on a date, right? But the second part? How on earth can this be a Rule?
Don't talk too much! He might find out that you've got a personality, then where would you be? Oh WOE!!
There's actually a crapload of these Rules, but I have neither the time nor the inclination to write about them further. I did more research and apparently craploads of feminists and oh, I don't know, EDUCATED women have been criticizing the shit out of this book for years. Hence the title of this post.
But yeah, I may be late coming in to the party, but I still felt the need to say it: you don't need to burn your bras to be socially empowered, girls-- just burn that fricking book.
As I'd never heard of the book prior his mentioning it, I asked him to further elaborate and, lo and behold! I discovered the
Women were using this as a sort of bible from 1995 (its publication) to mid-2000. I had never heard of it before, (apparently some good came from being mired in a 7-year relationship), and was thus thoroughly incensed at the very essence of it. (Feminist? Me? Why do you say that?)
I don't know if I was more insulted by the fact that, according to this book, a woman's ultimate goal in life is to snare a man to marry, or the fact that it basically teaches you how to "play" a guy until you get what you want (i.e. commitment and marriage).
Seriously, whatever happened to gaging your success by your personal accomplishments rather then whether or not you've got a man on your arm?! Books like this throw women back in the dark ages. Hell, don't we have enough Disney movies telling little girls that they need to patiently wait in their castles for their princes to rescue them? (Except for Mulan. Mulan kicks ass.)
See the following excerpts for samples of this ass-hattery:
EXHIBIT A: "Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day"
Wow. This is a great rule. Makes perfect sense... if you were 12. You'd think that grown women would have a bit more sense. You can't "trick" a guy into being more romantic. He'll either do it or he won't-- just the same as you. Trying to fit relationships into little boxes is like trying to define Art, for god's sake. You just *can't*.
EXHIBIT B: "Don’t See Him More than Once or Twice a Week" and EXHIBIT C: "Don't Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls"
Anyone who uses 'playing hard to get' as a core concept in their book should be taken out back and shot.
EXHIBIT D: "Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much"
Okay, so the first part of this rule I kind of get. It's hardly polite to be ogling other men while you're on a date, right? But the second part? How on earth can this be a Rule?
Don't talk too much! He might find out that you've got a personality, then where would you be? Oh WOE!!
There's actually a crapload of these Rules, but I have neither the time nor the inclination to write about them further. I did more research and apparently craploads of feminists and oh, I don't know, EDUCATED women have been criticizing the shit out of this book for years. Hence the title of this post.
But yeah, I may be late coming in to the party, but I still felt the need to say it: you don't need to burn your bras to be socially empowered, girls-- just burn that fricking book.